Or is it my extreme desire to be liked by everyone? It kills me to think of my life piling up in the trash. Just waiting to be emptied. When I find what it is I want, I hope…
That’s it. Hope means nothing. I have to do something. Because I’m starting to lose it. It’s not just an easy label. Not boredom. Not anziness. It’s a desire. It burns and I want to keep it burning. A few is nothing. I want it all. I don’t know if I can get it.
It feels like I’m trying to beat the clock to get something I can look back on. I havent found something I can use as an outlet, either. I try and try but I wont step over the line. I’m afraid. Afraid of rejection?
No…awkwardness. My biggest social fear.
….(silence)….
-A million things running through my mind, not one comes out.-
What does she think of me?
I have to stop putting on a show.
She’s perfect for me, isn’t she?
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