I am the dumbest motherfucker on the planet

There I am becoming REALLY acquainted with Amy #2, and I take it too far.

I was just screwing around. It was my jealousy that did it.

She hates me now.

Michael O'Brahan would never do something like that. I don't know what I was thinking. I think I figured she liked crazy guys so all of a suddenI abandon everything I stand for and believe in so maybe I'd top the list.

Instead I've dropped off the fucking list.

Now I look like a scumbag. The woman asking "are you alright?" helped a lot.

I feel like shit.

I apologized for 10 minutes afterwards.

It's just that I can't stand seeing her flirt with other guys. It kills me to see her with Tim or Michael O'Brahan.

FUCK!

The only ting I could do was apologize and hope she knew I was sincere. It was an incredibly stupid thing to do. I wish I could take it back.

The good thing about this is that it should blow over in a day or two. I have to see her and explain that I'm sorry. Oh, shit. Juden. Fuck. She's gonna know now.

I feel like such a scumbag.

Why can't I deal in those situations?

SHIT

worst case:
Amy #2 hates me. Tells everyone. They all look down on me and think I'm scum. Esp Christina. Well, forget about hanging out with her. Amy #2 and her will hate me. She's gonna look at me like I'm a loser and don't know how to act w/ a girl. And my few months w/ confidence and ability to talk w/ everyone openly are over on account of 1 stupid incident.

BCS:
She forgives me and even begins to like me more after seeing my sensitive side. Maybe it'll bring us closer together. The only way is to talk openly about it and not repress anything, I'll just have to move on, either with her or without her.

If anything, this makes me stronger as a person. She just has to realize that I made a mistake and would never do it again. And if she wants to lose a potentially great friend with depth and uniqueness just because I held that hold on her a little too hard and got her neck a little red, then I'm just going to have to accept the fact and move on.

I'm my own man.
I need no one.

I would like someone, but I don't need Amy #2 or Christina or Alicia or Mary or anyone.

Hopefully everything will work out with time.