I can’t believe how much Alicia confides in me.

We are, and have been for a while, officially “friends”. Nothing more, or less.

She tells me anything on her mind, anything personal or impersonal. Today, she dropped a fucking bomb on me, though.

She lets me know she had unprotected sex with Dan.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Now, I’d figured they probably screwed around, and she blindly trusts anything and everything Dan says & does, so I guess it was natural that it would progress. But she has got way too much trust if she’s allowing that to happen. In the heat of the moment, she reasoned it out using any logic possible and went with it. And of course she regretted it afterwards. But it’ll happen again unless she gets some independence and begins to think for herself instead of being so easily –I won’t say manipulated, but—convinced about things.

But another thing this opens up is that now I know the two of them have sex now. And, again, it makes me think of where I should be on the issue. Sure, it’ll give me much more to talk about, and much more in my life to deal with, so there’s an up-side and down side. What I do want is a girl I can like and hang out with and talk to and enjoy life with, then the sex issue could come up later. With Christina—she’s a little fake, but she DOES have a lot to offer. She’s hot as hell to start, she knows I’m virgin and sXe and doesn’t seem to mind, and she’s very passionate and easy to talk to and be with.

Only downsides are that she could be a bit bitchy to other girls, also she’s got much more experience on me, which is both intimidating and scary, but I think after a while I would get comfortable. What else—well, she’s kind of self-conscious about her looks, which can get annoying. Also she smokes (to keep her weight down, or so she says), drinks, and has cheated on guys on a couple separate occasions. Also, Amy #2 called her a “whore” although that was probably a word to insult her which probably holds as much weight as “bitch” (but you never know).

Not to mention the fact that she “does whatever makes her feel good” and she’ll “try anything once” (these are verbatim). So that would give me quite the adventuers, but if I were to find out she cheated on me, I would drop her right away. I also have the feeling that I could tame her, at least a little bit, but I don’t know.

Now, Amy #2 is just the opposite. Extremely prudish and also drug-free, she is also hot, but I don’t think as hot as Christina, but that’s a minor detail anyways. I don’t know if she knows that I’m virgin and sXe or not. Christina may or may not have told her, I don’t know. She DOES know that I cut out red meat, but I don’t think she cares. She’s also a little strange, socially. She’s easy to talk to, but she can get in pissy moods and act kind of childish. But there’s not much to her, either. She’s a bit trendy, in musical and material tastes, at least, but I really don’t know what to think about anything else.

I guess these two are my top chances at landing a g/f as of right now. With Heidi, who I don’t know at all, third. But Eric could easily introduce me and get things rolling. However, that would start a hell of a lot of tension between Amy #2, Christina, and me. I’d continue to talk to them, but I’m curious about their reactions. Do they hate Heidi for Heidi, or is it the fact that she dates scumbags? If it’s the latter, then they’d be pleased with me. (oh yeah, back to the Amy #2 issue, she’s not COMPLETELY prude, but basically only because she doesn’t open her mouth).

And it’s funny, the whole time I write this, Alicia is in the back of my mind. I don’t know exactly what that means, but I can’t really think clearly now.