Ok, so as fate would have it

Curtis and I were selected to room together at TCNJ.

Now, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited about it. But while it does ease a lot of tension and fear, maybe I need that. But whatever. I got a break, so I'm not gonna complain about it.

But what this means is that I'm going to have to restructure a lot of my relationship with Curtis. We're best friends, that's granted, but I usually keep my personal politics and other friends separate from him. Not because I don't think he could handle it, but because he probably doesn't want to.

BUT, now that I'm gonna be living with him I'm going to have to be ME all the way. And I'm a progressive leftist. And I'm a prankster. I'm a jokester, but with an agenda. And he's got a taste of it now, but I'm going to live the way I want to fully at college. With no restrictions on account of his or anyone else's judgment. Only 20 more days. Shit, I can't wait. I'm genuinely excited. This is definitely more excited than I've ever been. I literally CANNOT WAIT. I've got to remain dormant or do something to pass this time.

Another thing on my mind is what I'm leaving behind, though. I never did hang out with Megan or Diana. Or Amy#2 or Christina. And I stopped hanging out with Heidi. Eric won't call me back and I can't imagine why. Jeff and I stopped communicating. Smith, I never intended on hanging out with. But still, that whole crew I lost touch with. Alicia and I only talk if there's a reason. (like if I'm picking up her brother or borrowing something). It kinda sucks that basically all my possible friendships or relationships just died like that. Was it my fault?

I don't know. I tried. Well, okay, not really with Megan or Diana. And I could have actually called Amy#2. Or gotten Christina's number. But Heidi should know that I like her, if only as a friend. And Eric should know that I really enjoy hanging out with him. I know he knows I called, and he knows I know, so why does he continue to ignore me? We had some of the best times at Shop Rite, and we were really open with each other. He would always come to me if he had a problem, and I would always listen. Plus, we had like a million inside jokes. That's a good gauge to judge a friendship on, too. Because it shows that you have shared an experience or at least find a common recurring thing funny, so, I think he's still interested in being friends, but right now I'm not expecting a call.

Weird. That right after I write in PB about how destiny is bullshit, I get roomed with Curtis. Weird.

I'm also feeling alive politically. After reading up Jello Biafra's rantings and then discovering myself the political leanings in the 2SJ's CD, it's given me a fresh resurgence in what to think and how to act. I love that feeling.

RetroZine got the ball rolling, but the lighter and positive writings and music is what keeps it moving now, although I still LOVE Retro.

Okay, this is a pretty positive writing considering my boredom and loneliness over the past few days. I guess college is keeping my head up.

GOOD NIGHT.