There are days when, I just know everyone but me is gonna be busy and I'm gnona be stuck by myself.
It's even worse when they're home. I can't do things because I'm stuck. Phone rings...not for me. Call someone... not home, busy, working, out with someone else. Whatever, I still do have other stuff to look forward to. I don't know how I'm gonna adjust to college. Don't want to dive into everything but don't want to get too comfortable.
I don't know. Vacation from Upstate NY is over and I'm getting that For No Real Reason feeling on a larger scale. From social situation with Curtis and Kyle to secluded at home with sis, Eric, Paul all staying away.
I need companionship. Heidi's the closest thing I could find. I do like her a lot. I'll give her a call and hang out. Jake/Curtis/Paul/Eric/Jeff/Nate/Alicia/Mary has been cut back to Paul/Curtis/(a little) Nate/(not much at all) Alicia.
So that's that. I've got to try and keep up and stay on things so as to not slip into a hell rut. Tomorrow goes mowing lawn, then Heidi, possibly Jake if Heidi isn't home. Gotta stay on top of my life.
I HAVE grown a lot since last thought book. (ed note: "last thought book means Vol.1 in this case) I'm really beginning to understand myself and the people around me. My social life is faltering though, and I can't let that happen.
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