(notes from study hall)

These girls don’t shut the fuck up. Superficial bitches. Looking to make me uncomfortable. Just looking for a reaction. Not getting anything from me. Shut up. I don’t want to hear about your stupid shit or look at you. Stop looking for a reaction. STOP. If you want to talk to me, go ahead. Stop playing your 2 on 1 mind games. Why are you fucking with my mind like this? Shut the fuck up. I don’t care about your emotions. Oh yeah, you’re so good, you’re so different, you have so much more on me. I HATE THIS SHIT. Add me to your list. Ask me to move, but don’t talk behind my back. This class is taking so fucking long. The minutes just drag……..sure, good looking, but so fucking superficial.

If I stop writing or working, they’ll know I can hear everything they’re saying. FIRST? I hate this sit. Valentine’s is so stupid. But why point out the OBVIOUS? Mary and Courtney together. Talk about people LITERALLY behind their back. “Gayness”—my god, this sucks more than anything. Just when I think my day can’t get any worse, this happens. I’m in the most uncomfortable position right now. Because I can’t take this. I don’t want this class to be anymore. This sucks.

I don’t want to hear of you drinking or getting trashed or fucking around or anything you do. They realize it’s a part of the class and my life is this situation. Can’t take initiative. Can’t take initiative. Stuck being ass-backwards in a world where everyone else is moving forward.

But it’s not just initiative anymore. It’s the 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th responses. I make THEM laugh. Then stop…say something…oh, well. Possibility. Hope. HELL RUT ENDS.

“so now you know where I come from/my secret’s come undone – my heart’s revealed it’s cause………. I’m laying naked at your feet/don’t crush the heart that bleeds, take me as my word—it may sound absurd” – Jawbreaker

“destroyed by quiet, yell it out before it kills you now, let it all out” - Jawbreaker