Okay, what the hell is going on with Raechel?

I'm getting a little confused because she has a fiance, yet she seems kinda interested in me. This is too weird. When I first saw her, I thought, "She looks a lot like Heidi". She was the first one I was attracted to during that whole dorm icebreaker game, basically because she reminded me of Heidi, who I hadn't spoken to in well over a month. Then, all of a sudden, I get with Heidi out of nowhere and Raechel starts talking to me more.

Curtis and Sharon said that on Saturday in their little party in their room, she kept asking about me. Then, they were on the elevator wtih her and she invites me, through them, to the mall. THEN, she comes up to my room and starts talking to me, then finally I go to her room and help her study for Anatomy, she seemed awfully close to me and didn't want me to leave, because I wasn't really hleping her study anyways. If anything, I was hindering her studying. I mean, she had diagrams to study, so another person is no help when it comes to stuff like that.

We spent the whole time chatting anyway, and the studying was more of just an excuse to come to her room. But again, she has a fiance, and I don't want to be that guy that fucks up a future, even though I DO have a major problem with people getting so attached so early.

**Train Of Thought Stopped**

Well it's 4 days later, and she's only coming on stronger. Lets see, on Friday, she comes up to my room and plays video games with me. Then, she invites me downstairs and I watch a movie with her in her room, at which point she tells me that her and Jim (her fiance) are having problems. Oh...kay...then.

Saturday night, she comes up to my room--after smoking 2 bowls with Jamie--and lays on the bed with me while we watch a movie. It's uncomfortable--especially with other people walking in and out of the room--but I can't say I completely hated it.l I'm stupid like that. I know it's wrong, but it was nice either way.

Again, I DON'T WANT to be that guy. The one that's used as a way of liberating herself from this engagement before ultimately deciding that it was a mistake. Besides, I don't want to fuck with that guy. I think he's a loose cannon. She says (or someone says) that he's verbally abusive to her, which is really disturbing, since they're supposedly going to get married. But before I get too deep into this, I forgot to mention yesterday.

Not only did she put on lipstick and a tanktop (in the freezing cold weather) to go to a record store with me, she also tells me that she wants to "take a break" from Jim. Whoa...I had no idea what to say. She's made it pretty blatantly obvious that she's tired of his shit. She's ALWAYS saying what a nice guy I am. And she constantly comes up to our room now. So, I think I know her intentions. So, what are my thoughts on the situation? It's tough. Number one, I can talk to her easily, but she doesn't seem to get along with anyone else on the floor, so that makes me feel like there's something wrong there. Also, there's the whole Heidi situation. After hanging out with her, I realized that we have very, very little in common with each other. Everything she says seems to be for fashion, even though she states that she's against it. Just sitting there at TGIFridays with nothing to say to one another basically clinched it.

I'm sick of hearing about Metallica, Raph , and how fucked up she gets when she hangs out with her friends. I'm sick of smelling and breathing in full packs (or more) of cigarettes every time I hang out with her. I'm sick of knowing exactly what she's going to say since I can basically label her and it's right each time. The only part of that night when I enjoyed myself was when we got into that intense conversation regarding our future and all. That was the only time I sensed any maturity out of her. And I think that is the biggest turn-on of them all.

A sense of humor and a good personality coupled with maturity. And Heidi is extremely immature a lot of times. Her solution to being depressed is to turn on Slipknot and agree with their philosophy of "fuck everything, fuck what you believe in, fuck what you stnad for". That's bullshit. I don't want to hear that. Also, it's good that she wants to help kids in the future, but her intentions aren't exactly what I would expect. I loved it when she said "I want to change someone's life" but I cringed when she added "because I want this person to remember me 40 years later." How egotistical can you get? **Train of thought stopped**