I do have a lot on my mind, mostly food, since I haven't eaten yet today, but also: Raechel, Heidi, failing German, and other schoolwork bullshit. With regards to Rachel, I feel kinda bad that I may have led her to believe something that wasn't true, but I'm only a man at times. I mean, how can I react any differently to that situation?
There's no other way to put it: I was seduced. And I'm fine with it, because there was very little emotional attachment involved, if any. Okay, I go in her room, she and Daniella make out for me, then Raechel asks me to lay down next to her. I broke. And I'd probably do it again given the same circumstances. But taking a couple times making out with her and turning that into some sort of pseudo-relationship is the furthest thing from my mind. I already explained why it wouldn't work. I guess what I'm doing now is trying to explain why I did it in the first place.
I will hang out with her every once in a while and stop by to visit her room every now and then and I'll go to a show or two with her--all friendly stuff--but I refuse to be regarded as a boyfriend or even a real close friend of hers simply because we made out. Melody and I concluded that she's a paranoid schizoid and she grows too attached too quickly. That's why she was engaged in her junior year of high school and that's why she threw it all away to attempt a relationship with me, a kid she just met, because I'm "so nice". Any attachment she may have formed was no fault of mine, or very little fault, so I don't feel I have any obligation to continue the way she feels I should or explain myself if I don't. So that's that.
I'm not even thinking of Heidi anymore. That situation is a lot different, though, because I may have led her on without realizing it, unlike with Raechel.
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