It's amazing how when someone exits my life, I don't really think much about it until much later. I don't usually get that sense of departure and loss, mostly because I never think of it as really losing someone, just moving a little further from them, or making the next time I see them seem a little further away.
The last time I really remember feeling the impact of seeing someone leave was back when I was young, maybe 10, when dad would visit for a week or so. I just remember that genuinely affecting me, nearly to the point of crying, because I had no idea when I would ever see him again. But even that never affects me anymore. I don't feel anything toward my dad now. In fact, it is very rare he even enters my thoughts at this point in my life.
I'm much more preoccupied with missing everyone else that I most likely will never see again. Some of the people I met at school really meant something to me, whether they know it or not. They held something beyond the bullshit posturing we go through at the house here. I actually felt something real with them, instead of trying my hardest to act like the others so they'll accept me more. I'm mainly thinking about Ronnie, Ruchi, and Aaron, because all of them didn't put on a front and were very real to me. --
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I guess I'll pick up on this later. I hate this shit, I can't develop my own thoughts.
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