I haven't really put much effort into my schoolwork the past few weeks, most likely because that race relations paper burnt me on school. But without my mind on school, I've been thinking about other things--me and Lucy, Eric and Kelly, my future, and a lot of it scares me.
We apologized and made up after our fight a couple weeks ago, and I feel like it made us closer, so I'm happy about that. Also, we had some really good days when she came up for the weekends, which makes me feel like this is going to work. Aside from superficial shit like not being able to fit in her and stuff like that, I feel like our relationship is strong. But I have to still experience more with her and see what she and I both think. Thinking about Eric and Kelly makes me love Lucy even more. Eric is telling me how he's starting to miss Kelly and tell me about how good she was to him. (?!) What the hell relationship is he talking about?
I have to explain to him that anything me, Matt, or Craig says is out of concern for HIS happiness, HIS mental and physical health, and HIS social well-being. He's already starting to take her side as the innocent victim that nobody liked, even though she liked us. I have to tell him that I saw her true colors. People's true selves come out in times of crisis, and she revealed time and time again that she was not a good person.
After what she did to Matt that night, I never looked at her the same again. When she yelled at me for protecting him, I knew that it was not something she didn't mean, and just let her emotions take over. Instead that was what she felt all along, and she finally got a chance to say it. If only I was given that opportunity. He can't get mad at Matt for not talking to her, he can't get mad at me for giving him advice to stop hooking up with her, and he can't get mad at Craig for talking shit to her. She should be cut off from him in every way possible, because she brings out the worst in him.
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