6/25/03 - Well the day I met her mother, I never felt more secure about our relationship

Then, 2 days later, I fuck it all up again somehow.

It's funny that I was just about to write in here a couple days ago about how great things are going, and how I think we're over the hump and finally ready to enjoy this relationship on an equal level. I decided not to write for whatever reason, and now, 2 days later, who knows where this relationship will end up.

It's really up to Lucy to decide where it ends. I just want her to do what is best for her, because I love her with all of my heart. Of course I would prefer to stay together, but not at the expense of her happiness. But the fact that she is upset over the fact that she is attached to me leads me to believe this might not work.

After nearly 8 months of being together, she still wonders if I care about her, despite me saying it and doing any possible act for her. These are things that should have been apparent to her after the first couple of weeks.

She's just fighting it and fighting it, and sometimes it feels like she wants me to break up with her. I know I would regret it though, because how do I initiate the break-up with the woman I love? I won't do it. I'm going nuts over this girl.

I have to stop.