Borderlines

I don't even know what to think anymore. As far as I'm concerned, Amy#2 was date raped even though there was no penetration. He used physical force to give her head then used more physical force for her to return the favor. Now, in my heart, I want to be there for her to help her through this. But I also feel for Craig, who won't be able to begin to understand her side of the story, because he'll take that as a sign of weakness. To him, it's cut and dry. She wouldn't blow him but she would blow wigger Anthony while the two of them still had a thing going on, so he's gotta drop her to save face.

I just went through so many thoughts while writing that last sentence and they all pretty much emptied without me writing about them.

As usual, being the selfish fuck that I am, I only think how this affects me. Being friends with both Amy#2 and Craig, it seems like I'm gonna have to choose between going with my gut instinct and fully 100% forgiving Amy#2 or sticking with Craig and saying "fuck her", which would kill my conscience and lose a pretty good friendship with her. Now, of course, is when Amy#2 starts talking to me again, though. As I said earlier, she has a one-dick limit, and I guess she was reset back to zero. So she IMs me when I'm online now and she actually initiates conversation instead of only being online to "wait for Craig" and giving me one-word responses. But despite my personal qualms about how she handles friendships and relationships, I guess this isn't really a good time or a good situation to teach her a lesson. I know in my heart that the right thing to do here is to understand her feelings, because to me, she was borderline raped and that's a touchy subject that takes a lot of balls to address.

This might, however, fuck a lot of shit up between me and Craig, or Eric, or Jackson, or any of them. Even Heidi and Christina will probably take his side because they both want to fuck him. And I'm not doing this to oppose Craig. I think he's been put through a lot of shit too, and he has every right to be pissed off and he has a very good reason never to want to talk to Amy#2 again. Not just because she did all that shit with that kid, but because she left with him in the first place. The fact that she didn't even fucking speak to Craig the whole night is reason enough for him to be heated. This whole blowjob thing, while fuzzy and not loko at the same way by everyone, just gave him a final reason to end it. Plus, now Heidi and Christina are on his jock, probalby because they feel sorry for him and want to help him through it. And Craig's only a man. I'm sure he'll take what he can get and I can't blame him one bit for that.

So, basically, I don't want o be forced to choose. I just want to stay out of the picture and let them handle it the way they're gonna handle it and I don't want them asking my opinion. Because if it does come up, I'm not going to be able to lie about it. I'll tell whoever asks that neither of them are wrong. Craig's justified in being pissed off, Amy#2 is justified in that she was frightened and violated, and Heidi and Christina are justified in being wet over Craig. In the end, I can't hate any of them, and I can't be frustrated by any of them. They're all just living their lives, looking for satisfaction when they can get it. Just like me.

But FUCK Anthony, that little cocksucking date rapist. He'll get his.