"Ease back, relax your mind..."

There's just so--

Ha. Okay, lets start over. Breathe. Relax.

There is so much I have a right to be pissed about. The "situation", my car about to cost me another $200, being pestered throughout the day without hesitation by my mother, being forced to work now since I desperately need money. All these stressors in my lief have the potential to really get me hot and genuinely piss me off. But I can't let this happen to me. Even though the relief of one stressor is being hindered by other stressors, I have to try and lessen the stress.

I've got to reject this bad energy that comes from my life, because there is so much good out there that I can revel in.

Okay, my car is a piece of shit and is either going to cost me a lot of money, or is going to die, which will cost me even more money. This is a bad thing. To obtain the money, I'm going to have to work at L' shop for 8 hours tomorrow, Sunday, and probably many other days. This is a bad thing. Not so much that the actual working part is going to be a pain in the ass (and it IS), but more that I'm going to have to sacrifice the happiness I was feeling staying home and going wherever whenever I wanted.

But I've got to focus on the positive. Just break everything down to practicality and get the best out of the situation. When I get the estimate, I pick the days I work and the days I don't. It's a sacrifice to keep my car. Give some, get some. Life's shitting on me, but I have an escape. In a month, school starts back up, so I can live there (as my home), and meet people hopefully. But I'll still hang out with my crew in the hometown. Try and get the best of both worlds.

Jesus, I can't even write anymore. I'm just going to stop now, and pick up when I feel more coherent.