"I only keep the sunny hours"

I am more content than I have been in a very, very long time. And it's because after so many years of feeling like the odd moan our, the third wheel, the spare tire, I finally feel a sense of belonging. I'm not on my own any longer. It's not Brian vs. the World, like it used to be.

I've found people that accept and respect the real me. Eric, Matt, Craig, Jackson, and Fat Mike truly understand me and accept me, and I accept them. It's like I don't have to put on a show for them. Back when I hung out with the Cliq, I never felt this fulfillment. Because Jason went with Alexis, Curtis went with Sharon, and Brendan went with Rebecca, leaving me the only guy without a chick there. Burns and Courtney always were peripheral with the cliq, and Crystal was with Dave and no one really gave two shits about me. They all had different agendas. They wouldn't think twice about talking behind each others' backs any chance they got, and as a result, everyone had to be two-faced and extra nice and phony to one another. The couples became virtually married, since it was obvious spending time with each other far outweighed spending time with "friends". Spending time with "friends" became a chore they had to schedule around the time they spend with each other. So I never really took them seriously as friends.

Curtis is the only real friend I got out of that group. Although, Sharon tries to make him into her husband by pulling him aside and talking shit about people behind their backs. And that's one thing keeping me from really getting close with him. Sharon. She keeps pulling him away every time he explores any kind of new territory. When I hang out with the two of them together, I find myself biting my lip so hard because I have to physically fight the urge to fucking yell at her and free my friend from her fucking grip. She has turned him from my best friend into a close acquaintance. Any time I stop by at his house, her car is there. If I ever try and make plans with him, he's usually not home because he's out with her. He took her to the lake for the full week instead of me.

But I didn't get mad. Instead, I found friends that won't be corrupted by chicks like that. Eric values our friendship well over that of him and Kelly. He'll drop plans with her to hang out with me. He'll tell me shit he won't tell her. He'll do things with his boys, fully knowing that it's going to piss Kelly off. And that sacrifice that he gives fully makes him a true friend of mine. And with Jackson, Fat Mike, Matt, and Craig, I finally have friends that go by that same rule. Cherish your long-term friendships before any heady chick-bullshit tries to disrupt it. So I return the favor. I stayed at Eric's instead of going to Heidi's party. I hung out with Eric on the weekends when I went home instead of seeing Heidi or Amy#2 or them. And the little things like that strengthened our bond and made us tight.

So, I finally feel relaxed and happy with my social life. My outlook: keep your friends close, and there is no pressure on finding a girl. You can easily find simple ass, but you have all the time in the world to have "relationships". I'm not ready to grow up that much yet.