Tension

I think it's some sort of coping mechanism I have that forces me into blowing things way out of proportion in my mind so that when shit finally goes down, it's not as bad as I imagined it would be.

Going right along with that, I'm always thinking in Worst Case Scenario terms. I think of a way to deal in the worst possible cases, so that I'll be able to deal with anything a shade better.

A good example is what happened tonight. Eric and Matt fought because of a bonehead move by Matt in which he inadvertently hurt his mother by buying his father something from Dairy Queen and not even asking her. But it wasn't just that simple, at least not in my worst case mind. The way I saw it, Eric was pissed that me and Craig were there in the first place. We weren't invited there, and we didn't hang out with him tonight. Instead, we picked up Matt and hung out with him while Eric worked. So, something just wasn't sitting right with that to him, especially because Kelly was over.

Couple this with the fact that I lost the CD player he gave me, and I have every reason to believe, in my overblown worrying, that Eric is genuinely fed up with me. And that makes me feel like shit. The tension in that room and in that house were off the chart, and I couldn't wait to get out of there.

But I don't want to get too hung up on it. Hopefully, this will all blow over, and we can have a tension-free friendship like we used to.