Horniness sucks.

It keeps you going after anything and everything. Especially: Crystal. Stupid, ditzy, superficial, ready, too happy, never really sure of what's going on.

But hot. Curvy. Damn. I have to stop. I'm starting to get a mean ---- ---. But I want to think of it. It makes warmth and passes time much faster.

When I feel this, I know it's because (_____) is also. I'm uncomfortable. Don't want to show too much. We're NOT EVEN acquaintances, so if I were to say, turn around right now and give a "hows it going", it would be incredibly awkward. But, I really like the body. (_____). Also lips.

Really nice, but again, very superficial. So it's nice to look at, but nothing long-term. She knows I'm no (A---, K---, any other preppy fuck) She doesn't know why I'm so unpopular. She wonders, even if for a couple minutes while I sit here, she does.

I've got a much bigger head now. It's pretty cool, because I play it as if I'M not going to prove to HER. Ever. And that confidence plays out well. Look, 2 "perfect" friends. Always complaining about something not suiting their needs. Yet, they can't say a word to each other. Too busy arguing and when they get it, they can't say anything ELSE. Social issues. Everyone has it. More relaxed, the better.

Make it comfy. Don't let them EVER feel awkward. Don't let them get uncomfortable. Show your true self. Because saying something differing from them is a million times better than saying nothing at all. Make them smile or even laugh. BUT, don't stray from whit you believe in to do it. I have to make whatever I'm trying to say either comical, or I don't really know. I can't sit here and talk like an expert on any subject because I'm not.

I try and divulge into me, but I don't really know how to deal with shit. This DOES help, though, because I use what I feel personally about situations and use that to think of what THEY would feel. And that's the best way to go.