I don’t want to go out w/ Amy.

She’s a nice girl and I like her, but Eric putting so much pressure on her to hook up with me and I just don’t really want to be with her.

I want to be w/ Mary. She’s so fun and fun to be with while I get the feeling with Amy that if I do something wrong, she’s gonna be this big emotion-ball. She just seems so desperate to be comforted and have higher self-esteem. She’ll be there with all her older guy friends anyway, so hopefully she’s getting attention from them.

This whole set-up sucks. I didn’t want to reject her, so I said I’d go. Then she said Eric might be going. So all of a sudden a weight was lifted and I thought I wouldn’t be leading her on. Then all that garbage happens with him and Kristin and then she’s coming, too.

So it’s me, Kristin, and Eric at one lane. And Amy and white trash at the other lane. I don’t wantto lead her on so I shouldn’t be so friendly. Paul wasn’t on her list, but then again, Eric wasn’t pushing them to get together, either.

Well, I’m not going out with her just because I can’t find someone better. And I’m not in any huge rush to get “laid” to the point where I’d go out with her to join some kind of club that Eric and everyone else is a part of. So I’ll go tonight and have my brand of fun the way I want it and I wont let anyone influence me to do anything I don’t want to because if they get too much, I’ll get pissed.

The thing is, I cant imagine spending time with Amy. It doesn’t sound right to call her phony, but it seems to fit. Well, not phony. She’s real, but as Eric pointed out, it’s the “lost puppy dog” effect I get from her.

I don’t hate her, it’s just that I kinda resent her. She NEEDS to be liked, and that’s annoying. So that’s that, not to mention the fact that “the group” is going out tonight. Maybe I’m better off not going… If I see Mary with Courtney, I just may lose it.