...as well as some longer-term stuff. First and foremost, I want to get to Wal-Mart before the sister wakes up and get her a few birthday gifts before the party begins. That shouldn't be too big a deal, as I'll try to get mom to drive me.
That brings me to the next thing--a car. I was supposed to hold it for Jackson until he gets out, but now since the paperwork seems like it'll be a pain in the ass, and it's a marked car as it is, maybe it's not such a good idea as it seemed at the time.
I'll have to bum rides off of people, and it's inconvenient for me as well as them, but I'll end up saving a lot of money in insurance, and won't have to deal with the harassment I would have likely faced. Only problem is that I hope this doesn't fuck Jackson too badly, and he's able to get his car back when he gets out.
The other thing on my mind is Lucy. I've been trying not to sweat this girl too much and not think about her or fall for her, and, honestly, that approach seemed to work. I guess she's my girlfriend, according to the talk we had yesterday after messing around. My take is still a little fuzzy, though. I like her a lot: she has no pretenses or attitudes of superiority about her, she's still a virgin, and she makes me laugh and smile, which are all good things. But I'm not 100% on her. I guess it's impossible to be 100%, but it seems like I didn't even get a chance to feel it out or come up with my own thoughts on it, because I was too worried about whether or not she would come around. And now that she has, I have to think that I've made a commitment to be exclusive to her, and not to hurt her in any way. And now my doubts come rushing in: Will she be able to accept my friends? Will they accept her? Will she be willing to hang out with my friends? The ones at school AND the ones in the hometown? Will she understand why I'm friends with them, and accept me as friends of theirs fully? Also, the sexual element is in my head too. Am I always going to be the one to do all the work? Will she break out of her shell? Am I going to get bored with it?
These are the questions that spin in my head all the time. And I haven't even gotten to the fact that she graduates and will probably go back to her mom's house next semester while I stay in the college town.
But I can't think like that. She's a good girl, which is a rarity out there, and I really don't want to fuck this up. So I'll just try to enjoy it for the moment, and let the future unfold however.
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